Thank god for internal censors. It’s strange being a patient and living on the other side of a hospital visit. If you’re like me, you try to be polite and you often want to reassure your visitors rather than scare them. At the same time though, you’re immersed in a painful and frightening reality. There isn’t really a frame of reference to help explain it.
So, what’s the protocol for visiting a Crohnie in the hospital? I’m glad you asked. For your consideration, I present to you:
12 Things to Know About Visiting a Crohnie in the Hospital
- Never visit without planning and confirming ahead of time. Being hospitalized for Crohn’s is rough, embarrassing, and emotional. Would you think it’s a lovely surprise to see someone while you’re lying in bed crying because you’ve just thrown up all over yourself and you’re losing faith that you’ll ever get better? I think not.
- Call the day before to set a visit time. You don’t want to interfere with any tests, meals, or anything else. Showering also doesn’t happen too frequently as a patient, so give your Crohnie a chance to clean up.
- Call before you leave to visit. If you planned ahead the day before, a lot may have changed. Confirm that your Crohnie will be around and is still feeling up for it.
- Call when you’ve parked to confirm the visit is still ok. Circumstances change quickly in the hospital. Your Crohnie may be fine when you leave the house, but getting sick out of both ends and not up for visitors 10 minutes later.
- Don’t be late for your visit. With nothing to do in the hospital, a patient usually plans an entire day around visitors. Don’t hurt your Crohnie by being late and making him or her wait. And if that’s not reason enough, remember that your Crohnie offered that time for a reason. There may be tests later or something else that would interfere with a visit.
- Before you leave, ask if there is anything your Crohnie needs. Toothbrush, floss, deodorant, phone changer, whatever. Your patient is stuck in the hospital, can’t leave his or her room, and may be in need of something.
- Do not bring food for a Crohn’s patient. Seriously, if a person with Crohn’s is in the hospital, he or she is either on a restricted diet, prepping for a test, or just not eating at all.
- Try to avoid bringing food for yourself. I know it’s easy to stop at the food court to grab a snack for the visit, but remember you’re visiting a person who probably can’t eat. It’s frustrating to smell food and watch others eat when you’re starving or nauseated.
- Do bring books, puzzles, video games, and other distractions to help your Crohnie pass the time. Hospital life gets boring and tedious. Anything to break up the monotony is good.
- Stay 10-30 minutes. Your Crohnie may be sick, tired, or in need of going to the bathroom.
- Be ready for a dose of reality. Hospital life is very real and very gritty. There isn’t much shame. Your Crohnie may look and/or smell terrible. They may have marks from IVs all over their arms and hands. They may vomit. They may fall asleep. Their butt may be exposed through the hospital gown. They may tell you everything that’s going on. Don’t make a big deal out of any of it. If you don’t think you can keep it together, don’t visit.
- Don’t be offended if your Crohnie declines a visit. In addition to feeling terrible, a Crohnie endures a lot of humiliating things in the hospital that he or she may not want you to see. Respect his or her wishes.