It’s always bittersweet when a doctor tells you it’s time to be hospitalized. It’s scary to know that things are that bad, but you also know you’ll get some relief. However, when you’ve already been hospitalized and you know that there’s an ostomy at stake if you don’t recover soon, being told you need to go back is a complete and utter mind-screw.
I’ve had Crohn’s Disease for 25 years now and I’ve been hospitalized for it 4 or 5 times. About 50% of my hospitalizations have ended in surgery. As I said above, in my experience, hearing that you need to go to the hospital is scary, but strangely ok. You’re not sure what the outcome will be and you hate to think that you’re really that sick, but you also know that you’ll get some much needed help. Pain meds, food, water, and even just proper rest can help turn things around. In some ways, hearing the news is even calming. You no longer need to dread what might happen. Instead, you can just let go and accept your fate.
So, how sick do you need to be to have to be hospitalized for Crohn’s? Pretty darn sick. I hadn’t had regular sleep in 6 months due to the prednisone, I had the full-body shakes from the high doses of cyclosporine for about a month, I’d been having trouble eating for a few weeks, I was having nausea and diarrhea after every meal, and now I was having trouble keeping down water. That last point is usually the key indicator. If you can’t even keep water in you, you’re in serious trouble.
I was scared to death that I’d need surgery and an ostomy, but I also knew that I couldn’t make it on my own anymore. I needed to go back to the hospital or I wasn’t going to make it. Sometimes life just doesn’t cut you a break.