Mentally and emotionally preparing for a possible ostomy is quite a journey. It’s filled with so many realizations of how your life will change. This is the one that blew my mind though. I mean seriously, try to wrap your head around the idea of never taking a shit again. It’s a thing that you’ve always done. It’s a thing that everyone does. It’s one of the few equalizing human experiences. Who doesn’t love the satisfaction of a good dump?
At this point, I’d been released from the hospital on a large dose of the organ rejection drug cyclosporine. I was about 6 weeks into Entyvio, but it would take at least 6 more weeks to know if it would work or not. If my body didn’t take to the Entyvio, my doctors wanted to try Stelara, which would mean another 3 month waiting period. Waiting this long to see if a medicine will be effective is part of Crohn’s. I was used to it. However, I was feeling terrible and the symptoms were getting worse and worse. I’d been warned that surgery and a permanent ostomy was a possibility. I dreaded it, but I was also fading fast. It was a scary place to be.