If you’ve been following the ostomy thoughts series, you’ll recognize this as a big turn for me. Instead of focusing on the negatives of living with an ostomy, I started to look at everything I’d miss out on if decided not to have the surgery.
At this point, I’d tried and rejected every treatment available. I’d been told that if my insurance company wasn’t going to approve Stelara soon, I was going to need surgery and a permanent ostomy. I’d been dreading that for 25 years. People sometimes use the word “dread” casually, but here, I mean it in its full sense. I’d seen a stoma once before and I was sure that I would rather die than live with one.
Patients who refuse a permanent ostomy can still have surgery to remove infected tissue, but they will never really get better. Instead, the tissue surrounding the areas that were removed will soon become infected too. You can avoid an ostomy this way, but you will have to live with all of the symptoms of a flare in perpetuity. You’ll have to endure surgery after surgery without ever getting better until there just isn’t any more tissue to remove.
So, when I finally thought through the fear and weighed my options, I decided that I wanted to live. I would still do whatever I could to avoid getting an ostomy, but there was just too much left for me to experience in life.
I will add that not everyone comes to this same conclusion. The ordeal is extremely sad, painful, and frustrating, and the consequences are serious regardless of what you choose. There are no great options. There is only the option that is best for you. For me, I was still too young and had too much to live for.
So glad you are finding the best available option for you as difficult as it may be! I have always believed life is the best option and individuals like yourself will find the best way through! I’m an eternal optimist and will always believe a person can find the best in any situation no matter how bad it may be if only willing to work the issues through. Scary.. most certainly, but honestly there is always something or someone in a worse situation to endure. The best people in your life will not see the Osotemy, they will see Dan the man who has made the most out of the life he’s been given to live! I know some of those people, your mom, dad and sisters, and know the sort of persons they are inside so know this as fact. I don’t know your Fiance but I have to believe she is this same wonderful person as well. To anyone who can’t see beyond it to the person you are, they just don’t matter! You are truly an inspiration to share so fully and honestly your journey in all its ups and downs! Thanks for putting yourself out there!