So yeah, this happened the day after I got home from the hospital. Maybe I’m alone in this, but sometimes I feel like my Crohn’s is a punishment for something. I can’t think of anything I’ve done that warrants it, but man, when the symptoms pile on, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve been karmically offensive. I try so hard to eat well, rest, take my meds, and all that, but sometimes nothing helps. It feels like I’ve been singled out to suffer for a while. It sucks.
There’s a Matthew McConaughey movie called Failure to Launch. It’s pretty passable overall except for one running gag. His character is mid-30s or something, but still lives with his parents. Throughout the entire movie, he keeps getting randomly attacked by animals. The message is that by living at home, he has offended nature, and so nature is extracting revenge and trying to get him to make it right. That’s all I could think about when I was stung by that bee. Again though, I’m a pretty good guy and I can’t think of what I could have done.
I guess it’s normal to ask why. It’s normal to question god. It’s normal to resent a streak of bad luck. I’ve had so many people tell me that I’m brave, strong, or tough. I don’t feel brave, strong, or tough. I’m just a guy trying to do his best with the hand he’s been dealt. No more. No less.