Jenga – Let’s Go to School in Belgium

Not funny at all is it? With everything going on these days, let’s just say that this has been on my mind more than humor. This happened to me about 13 years ago and it happened just as depicted.

One of the most painful things I learned while travelling and living abroad is the pervasiveness of hatred and division. It seems to be a part of human nature that we group ourselves arbitrarily and then hate the other side. Whether it’s based on race, religion, nationality, regionality, sports, or whatever, we just seem to prefer to deal with each other with an us vs them mentality. I can’t tell you why it’s like that, but it’s definitely like that. I was shocked that even in Belgium, which has a population of 11 million people, the northerners and the southerners dislike and talk trash about each other. And then there was this jerkface.

My dad spent some time in Germany in the 60s. It was in those post-WWII, post-Kennedy, the world likes America years. People were excited when they found out where he was from and they wanted to talk to him about it. Unfortunately, I was in Belgium during the George W. Bush years. Let’s just say that the world’s crush on the states had worn off by then. People often gave me a hard time for being American and they freely volunteered that they didn’t like my country. Again, people like that us vs. them mentality, and boy, they sure do like to feel superior. I didn’t like George W. Bush or his politics, but I generally tolerated some flak being thrown my way because I understood that people are just like that. However, some people take this stuff past pettiness into mean-spirited nastiness, and that is super not ok.

This took place at a bar that I really used to like. It was a small, warm space with good beer and board games. My friends and I used to go there regularly. And then one night when we were playing Jenga, this happened. It takes a heck of a lot to leave me speechless, but this did it. Man, I get that you’re not a fan of the states, but how can you be so low as to joke about a tragedy? People died. Lives were ruined. There was nothing funny about it. The man who said this was the owner of the bar too. I never went back. Similarly and sadly, when my little sister spent a semester in Ireland a year later, someone walked up to her, asked if she was American, then told her it was too bad more people didn’t die during Katrina.

So what’s the solution? What do we learn? How do we fix this mentality? How do we react against arbitrary hatred and malice? I wish I knew. I’ve traveled a lot and people really aren’t so different. We come up with these distinctions because they make us feel better for some reason. Hatred like this hurts. It easily gets taken advantage of by people with agendas. My hope is that with the rise of the internet and globalism, we’ll realize that we aren’t all so different and cut each other some slack. I hope we get there someday. Sadly though, I’m not usually very confident that we will.

About Last Night… – The Crohn’s Saga Part 63

As you saw in I’m Fine, talking about how you’re doing when you’re sick is tricky. You don’t want to totally withdraw and seclude yourself, but you also don’t want to worry the people you care about. At this point, in addition to the symptoms of a severe Crohn’s flare, I had insomnia from the high dose of prednisone and the shakes from the high dose of cyclosporine. My body was failing and I was starting to doubt that I was going to recover.

If you read my post on Depressing Music, you know that I often rely on music to get me through times when I’m overwhelmed emotionally. I was listening to a lot of music those nights when I couldn’t sleep. If I found that a particular song struck the right chord, I’d put it on repeat and just purge the feels. This night I needed a warm fuzzy that only childhood nostalgia could provide. However, these are the kinds of personal things that you don’t share with others at the time. When you’re desperately clinging to an outlet, you don’t go around talking about it. It isn’t worth the risk of that outlet closing up. Or, to put directly, you don’t risk the coping mechanism.

Kid Dog – All Sorts

My fiancé and I aren’t planning on having kids, so we give all of that energy to our dog Hurley. For all intents and purposes, Hurley is our child. However, I’ve learned the hard way that people with kids really don’t like it when you try to relate to their kid stories with dog stories. Even if they are the same damn story about the same damn thing.

To be serious though, I get it. Of course a dog is not the same as a kid. But, please bear in mind that my dog fills that void for me. She’s my family and she’s the closest thing to a child that I’ll ever have. She is one of the most important parts of my life. So, please forgive me if I slip up. I promise that I do so out of joy and not malice.

Wisdom & Attention Span – The Crohn’s Saga Part 64

There is a sort of wisdom that comes from being chronically sick. At least it feels like it anyway. If you’ve ever had the flu, pneumonia, or anything else that kept you in bed for a few days, you’ve caught a glimpse of it. It’s like you step outside of your life and you get to look at it more objectively. That part is actually cool. Especially when you’re not sure you’ll recover, you get to find out how you feel about your life on the whole.

At this point, I’d been on disability for about 4 months. I wasn’t going to work and I couldn’t go out socially anymore. I just sat at home feeling lousy and thinking about my life. Luckily, I was happy with the result when I really took a look at things. I had a great relationship, great friends and family, and I’d travelled enough to not feel like I’d been missed out on seeing the world.

That’s one of the few benefits of having a chronic disease. I’ve had Crohn’s Disease since I was 11. I’ve never been able to rely on my health, so I’ve taken a lot of risks and lived in a way that I’d be content with my life overall. The downside of that is that I don’t handle lulls very well. I love having adventures, but I get antsy when things are just normal and I don’t have anything planned.

Oh, and if you’ve never seen Bob’s Burgers, I highly recommend it.

No Headphones – The Worst Person Ever

Not wearing headphones when listening to something in public is definitely inconsiderate enough to make you a worst person ever. I take public transportation to and from work every day, and I encounter this at least once a week. It drives me crazy. Train time is my quiet time and I can’t stand it when people interfere.

Also, have you ever noticed that it’s always crappy music that gets blasted and never anything good? It’s doubly vexing. Not only do I have to listen to what you’ve chosen to listen to, but what you’ve chosen to listen to sucks. Boo.