Indifferent Bird depicts the nights I spend awake thinking about Crohn’s. I usually can’t sleep, so I often sit outside on my balcony listening to music and thinking about everything that’s going on. It’s good for me. I recharge. I ready myself. Every once in a while, I see animals while I’m out at night. Usually rats and pigeons, but sometimes rabbits and opossums. This night, I was particularly far into my head when a robin landed on the rail and sat there for quite a while. I felt like it was a sign that the universe had my back and was supporting me. I tried talking to the bird and offering it a chip, but it just sat there and stared. Eventually, it flew away and I was left feeling more alone than I had before. Thanks universe!
Category: The Crohn’s Saga
Welcome to The Crohn’s Saga. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease when I was 11 years old, which means I’ve had it for about for 25 years now. I’ve had several flares, been on several meds, had a few hospital stays, and have even had surgery. Last year, I noticed the symptoms of a flare. After about 6 months, I decided to start documenting my life with Crohn’s. I’m not a cartoonist (you’ll notice I can barely draw), but I scoured the web and I couldn’t find much about this that was easy to read or really relatable. So, I present to you my life with a flare. Aside from a few embellishments, everything you are about to read is true.
For more information, see my page “About Crohn’s Disease“.
Flashback – Beach Life – The Crohn’s Saga Part 12
Weight loss and Crohn’s Disease go hand in hand. This is a flashback from when I was 18. The day after I graduated high school, I began one of the worst flares I’ve ever had. I suffered for months, almost didn’t start college, and eventually needed my first surgery. I was in so much pain that I completely lost my appetite and dropped weight at an alarming rate. At the end, I was 5’11” and 98 lbs. I didn’t have any fat on me, so I was always cold. That summer, we took a family vacation. To even be able to tolerate being on the beach, I had to wear a sweatsuit, jacket, and a hat. Needless to say, I stood out and caused concern everywhere I went. I hate being the sick guy. It’s humiliating. So, I usually opted to just stay inside and watch tv. It wasn’t how I wanted that summer to go…
Wait, Do I Have A Problem? – The Crohn’s Saga Part 13
Wait, Do I Have A Problem depicts one of those fun little moments of sudden self awareness. My fiancé and I both have stressful jobs, so we like to split a bottle of wine with dinner. It helps us relax and let go of the day. I didn’t think it was a thing and I certainly never added up how much we drank in a given week. This did not make me feel so great.
Dealing with Doctors – The Crohn’s Saga Part 14
“Dealing with Doctors” depicts a common scenario with Crohn’s Disease – there is a ton of waiting involved. I love my doctors, but this happens a lot and it’s very frustrating. During a flare, you feel lousy and antsy for something to change, but you usually have to wait to see if things get better or worse, or if a treatment will be effective. It usually takes 3-6 months to get a flare under control.
The symptoms in today’s comic may seem graphic, but that’s the reality of Crohn’s Disease. The best advice I can give when dealing with doctors is to be honest and curious. Don’t hold back when telling them what you are experiencing. Don’t hesitate to ask if there is something you want to know. Ask about diet, exercise, sleep, and other lifestyle factors that are in your control. You are not totally helpless.
Inner Dialogue – The Crohn’s Saga Part 15
“Inner Dialogue” portrays my feelings about Crohn’s Disease and how a flare exaggerates the love/hate relationship I have with my body. It’s difficult to sort out how to feel about my own body attacking itself. Frustration is common obviously, but I also feel betrayed and guilty a lot of the time. In a way, Crohn’s is me hurting myself, yet I am powerless to do anything about it. I resent my body when I am sick, but at the same time, I am going through all of this to try to save it. It’s like trying to help out your own abuser. During a flare, the mental game is critical, but sometimes difficult to sustain.