The Nice Guy Vents – The Crohn’s Saga Part 89

Sometimes when you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, you vent. I guess this was my time. I’m not proud of this, but it happened, so I have to include it as part of the story.

My surgery team wasn’t stupid. They knew I was in bad shape when they came into my room. They did say hello and ask how I was doing, but they certainly weren’t being chipper or oblivious. Actually, I’d say their demeanor was more regretful than anything else. However, despite their caution, I still lashed out.

I’m not a highly confrontational guy. People who casually know me often think I’m relaxed and low key. However, those who know me well are aware that underneath my serene facade, I’m usually frantically processing something or another. I internalize a lot of stress and a lot of pain. I’m sure that’s one of the reasons my Crohn’s Disease is always so active. Regardless, everyone has a breaking point.

In the 25 years I’d had this disease, I’d endured a lot. It had been 25 years of  needlesticks, pokes and prods, fatigue, diarrhea, vomit, arthritis, brittle bones, brittle teeth, stunted growth, sores, blood, pain, isolation, embarrassment, depression, and anxiety. I once had a doctor walk out of the exam room without closing the door, leaving me bare assed for the entire waiting room to see. Another doctor once ripped open two fissures during a test and left me in agony and bleeding all over the table because he didn’t bother to read my chart beforehand. Leading up to this surgery, I’d been sick for over a year. I’d had to take leave from a job I cared about. I’d been forced to rely on my fiancé to take care of me, leaving me scared that it could destroy our relationship. Add a bad recovery, a catheter, an ng tube, and an ostomy, and I finally couldn’t keep all of it in anymore.

Luckily, my team were professionals. They took what I said in stride, offered the services of a psychiatrist, then just let me be alone for a while. I don’t like it when my emotions get the better of me and I’m grateful to have been in a safe place for that. The silver lining is that I finally got to let some of that pent up pain and frustration out. Aside from feeling like a jerk, I felt better afterward. I felt relieved. I guess that’s why they call it venting.

Naps – Lessons from Hurley

My dog Hurley naps a lot. Like a lot a lot. She gets at least 4-5 good ones in every day. I’m not saying I nap that often or that you should nap that often, but I do think our culture seriously neglects the simple pleasure of a good nap.

One of my first memories occurred when I was around 3 or 4. I was at my grandparents’ house playing in the living room when my grandpa got up and announced that he was going upstairs to take a nap. I laughed at him and called him silly. I hated having to take naps and I couldn’t understand why an adult would ever do such a thing unforced. In hindsight, my grandpa was a genius.

Adulthood comes with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of commitments. Down time is rare and if you’re like me, you waste it up in your head thinking about what you need to do next. Hurley doesn’t do that. She knows when it’s time to calm down, stretch out, curl up, let out a heavy sigh, and snooze. So take the cue and treat yourself to a nice guilt-free nap every once in awhile. I bet you’ve earned it.

Reunions – The Crohn’s Saga Part 90

Reunions are funny things, aren’t they? This one certainly was.

If you’ve never been hospitalized, you may not know that walking is one of the best things you can do to speed along your recovery. Walking helps wake the body back up, regain strength, and get things moving again. Especially after gastrointestinal surgery, your doctors and nurses will ask you to take several laps around your floor every day. I wanted to get rid of the catheter and ng tube, so even though I was feeling pretty rough, I walked as often as I could.

I was usually pretty up in my head when I’d walk, so it took me a few minutes to realize that I’d gone to high school with the nurse I kept passing at the station. It was surreal – one moment I was fixated on trying to get better and wondering what the rest of my life would look like, and the next, I was catching up with a friend I had a Spanish class with 20 years ago.

Here was the funny thing though, my first instinct was to feel self-conscious about the the tubes and general unpleasantness of my current state, but after a moment, it was just nice to catch up with an old friend. It helped me feel like a normal person. We talked about what people talk about during reunions – how have you been, who did you keep in touch with, what ever happened to so-and so, etc. It was so nice.

She gave me advice on how I could help along my recovery and afterwards, she dropped by my room a few times to chat even though she wasn’t assigned to me. I was definitely caught off guard bumping into her like that, but I’m so grateful that I did. She was still the caring, lovely person I’d remembered. Bumping into her helped me put everything back in context and reset my emotional state.

So, if you’re out there reading this, thanks for everything!

Obfuscators – Lousy Marketers

Obfuscators may be the worst marketers ever. I’ve noticed that post-9/11, the US government seems to love trying to pass controversial legislation by tacking on the word “freedom”. It’s been so overused that it’s been rendered almost meaningless if not ominous. That’s also true in this case.

When I first heard about “restoring internet freedom”, based on the name, I assumed it meant ensuring internet equality and access. I assumed it meant defending net neutrality. I was wrong. Freedom in this case refers to the freedom of internet service providers to control content and speed of delivery based on their preferences.

This is a real thing, they’re trying to pass it soon, and from everything I’ve researched, I think it would be very bad for most of us. This actually concerns me enough that I’ve decided to dedicate today’s post to net neutrality. See below for an explanation of what it is, arguments for it, arguments against it, my opinion, and what you can do about it. I’m trying to keep this simple and straightforward, but please see references below for sources that both support and oppose this issue.

What Is Net Neutrality?

The Wikipedia entry for net neutrality explains it better than I ever could, so here is how they define it. They state that “Net neutrality is the principle that Internet service providers and governments regulating most of the Internet must treat all data on the Internet the same, and not discriminate or charge differentially by user, content, website, platform, application, type of attached equipment, or method of communication. For instance, under these principles, internet service providers are unable to intentionally block, slow down or charge money for specific websites and online content.”

Also, the show Last Week Tonight did two pretty thorough reviews of this, so please also see both Part 1 and Part 2 if you want to learn more.

 What Is Restoring Internet Freedom?

Internet service providers (ISPs) have unsuccessfully tried to get rid of net neutrality several times in the past few years. Under the Obama administration, net neutrality was protected. Under the Trump administration however, it’s in trouble again.

The new chairman of the FCC, Ajit Pai, is a former lawyer for Verizon. Like most Republicans, he is pro-free market. As such, one of his first orders of business was to try to destroy net neutrality. He refers to this as restoring internet freedom and under the current Republican majority, he may succeed.

What Is The Basic Argument For Net Neutrality?

The main argument here is essentially that the internet should be regulated like a utility. All content should be treated and delivered equally, and ISPs should not have the ability to censor or favor any content above others.

As a simple example to illustrate this, consider the following: say Comcast were to create its own video streaming service. Without net neutrality, they would be able to slow down other video streaming services such as Netflix or Hulu and speed up their own service, thereby frustrating customers into switching, and growing their own business. Worst-case scenario, they would be able to outright block their competitors or charge them more to have their services streamed faster.

Who Favors Net Neutrality?

Pretty much everyone. In terms of businesses, see here for a larger list of companies that participated in the net neutrality day of action on 7/12/17. For those with limited time, that list includes Google, Facebook, Amazon, Reddit, Twitter, Netflix, Imgur, and of course, the ACLU.

What Is The Basic Argument Against Net Neutrality?

The main argument against net neutrality is grounded in the idea of the free market. If ISPs are not regulated, they will be more in competition with one another, so if an ISP fails to satisfy customers, those customers can simply switch to another ISP. ISPs argue that regulating the internet decentivizes them from being innovative, creating more infrastructure, and providing better service.

As a simple example to illustrate this, consider the following: say Comcast did start blocking content or throttling speeds to favor content they prefer, customers would get irritated and simply switch to AT&T or another ISP. The ability for customers to decide which ISP they prefer would force greater competition and create better service overall.

Who Opposes Net Neutrality?

Internet services providers. Duh.

What Do I Think About This?

As I wrote above, I am strongly in favor of net neutrality. I’m sympathetic to the idea of free market in some instances, but I think we have become so dependent on the internet as a culture, that the government should be regulating this. Breaking net neutrality would give too much power to ISPs. I’m not just worried about streaming video services, I’m worried about information on the whole. I’m worried about throttled news sources and dissenting opinions. In short, I think the internet ought to be treated as a utility.

Did you know that the US is ranked 9th globally in terms of internet speed, but we pay more for internet service than a lot of other countries? Most areas of the US have only a handful of internet providers. Where I live in Chicago for example, there are really only 3-4 choices. However, like a lot of buildings in my area, my building is only wired for 1. So where’s the competition there? Even if I had more choices, most ISPs offer about the same service for about the same cost. I don’t want to go as far as implying collusion, but I will go as far as to say that in industries where there are only a few competitors, your business typically ends up being at parity with your competitors. Why invest in innovation and customer service when know your competitors won’t? Why not just maintain your current state and keep your profits?

In short, I don’t think I would be as spooked by this if there was more competition among ISPs, but there isn’t. The current government puts business ahead of people claiming that as business grows, the people will benefit. I just don’t think that’s true. I don’t think people will benefit from restoring internet freedom. I think government should protect and serve the people first and foremost, so regulation here is appropriate. I’m tired of the billionaires winning while us regular folks get screwed.

What Can You Do About This?

If this concerns you, call your representatives. You can find them here. Or, if you’re like me and you don’t have time to call, you can find your House Representative’s email address here and your Senators’ email addresses here. You can also register with Google’s protest here.

Other References

Save the Internet – https://www.savetheinternet.com/net-neutrality-what-you-need-know-now

Battle for the Net – https://www.battleforthenet.com/

Forbes – “Am I The Only Techie Against Net Neutrality?”, Josh Steimle, 5/14/14. https://www.forbes.com/sites/joshsteimle/2014/05/14/am-i-the-only-techie-against-net-neutrality/

Washington Post – “What to know about the FCC’s plan to undo it’s net neutrality rules”, Brian Fung, 11/20/17. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2017/11/20/what-to-know-about-the-fccs-upcoming-plan-to-undo-its-net-neutrality-rules/?utm_term=.1a11ad04990d

The Sleeper Awakens – The Crohn’s Saga Part 91

“The Sleeper Awakens” captures the moment that my ostomy finally became real.  The news that I could ditch the catheter and ng tube was a delight a first. If you’ve been following along, you know that I was pretty miserable with both. However, I’d been so preoccupied with them that I’d been ignoring the ostomy completely. I hadn’t really even looked at it yet. Now I knew I’d never be able to ignore it again. The word “bittersweet” doesn’t quite cover the depths of emotion involved, but it’ll have to do.