Merriam-Webster defines mercy as “the compassionate treatment of those in distress”. When you’re in the hospital laid out in pain with tubes in nearly every orifice, mercy makes all the difference. In that situation, your morale hangs by a thread, so kindness and compassion can make or break you. For my recovery, I was lucky to have a highly competent and compassionate staff looking after me.
I first met the Ostomy Nurse the morning of my surgery. She taught me all about ostomies, and she measured and marked where mine would go. During my recovery, she taught me how to empty and change my bag. In short, she was my guide for my new life. She was the Virgil to my Dante.
The Ostomy Nurse was polite and knowledgeable, but the mercy she showed me depicted above is what I remember most. I’ve had a lot of nurses over the years. Some have had good hearts, but weren’t the most competent. Others were skilled, but they were checked out and just going through the motions. The best are skilled, engaged, compassionate, and able to read their patients. The Ostomy Nurse fell into this latter category.
Sometimes I think I’m just being whiny about all of this. People have been through much worse. But then I remember that this surgery came after a year of a nasty flare and 25 years of life with this stupid disease. Like most chronic illnesses, Crohn’s Disease wears you down. It’s always in the back of my mind, like a thug waiting in the shadows. I’d dreaded having an ostomy for years. Now I had one. On top of that, I was having a bad recovery. The physical pain I was feeling at the time was nothing compared to the penetrating hopelessness.
That’s how I was feeling when the Ostomy Nurse came into my room to train me on how to take care of my new body. I didn’t want to learn about my ostomy. I hadn’t even really been able to look at it at that point. I was dealing with too much and I couldn’t cope with the reality of it all. Luckily, after one glance, she knew where I was and she knew that I couldn’t have handled it. That’s mercy. That’s the compassionate treatment of a person in distress.
I will always be grateful for her and the rest of the staff at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. They are exceptional. They treated me with compassionate care every step of the way and that made all the difference.
Danny, I hope the staff at NW gets to see this installment because they live with lots of rejection and ‘being taken for granted’ stuff every day. Another linguistic bullseye that captures your multivalent suffering. I foresee a wonderful book in your future…..especially the drawings of the beloved beast at home. Enjoy this glorious day, bag and all. See you soon, I hope.