I want to discuss two topics in this post – the ostomy nurse and bravery.
I met the ostomy nurse the morning of my surgery. You know how sometimes people you barely interact with can have a huge impact on your life? This was one of those cases. This meeting was about 20 minutes long, but it would change my life forever. She went over the surgery, marked where the stoma would be, and showed me the bag I’d be waking up with. It took her 2 minutes to measure something I’d dreaded for 25 years and that I’ll have for the rest of my life. I can barely wrap my mind around that. What a difficult job. I’m grateful that my hospital had an ostomy specialist and I’m grateful to have met her. She made things real, but she made them ok. If you ever read this, thank you!
And now on to bravery. This is one of those cases where people tell me I was brave. I didn’t feel it. I felt scared and angry and indignant. I mean really, can you call it bravery when you don’t really have a choice? Looking back, I can say it took some toughness for sure. It took nerve. Maybe bravery is just something that exists externally, but you never really feel it yourself. Either way, for anyone reading this who may end up in this situation, it’s ok to be scared. That’s a normal, healthy response. Just remember that there is a life worth living on the other side of this surgery.