Month: March 2017

Depression & Anxiety Part 2 – The Crohn’s Saga Part 18

“Depression & Anxiety Part 2” depicts a common frustration encountered by people who suffer from depression. Those not afflicted seem to equate the experience with typical sadness. They try to help by telling you what works for them when they are sad. This is well-meant, but incredibly naive. Depression is caused by chemicals in the brain, so there is no quick fix. We can’t just decide to be happy. Conversations like this backfire for the person trying to help. You just make us feel worse – more alienated, less understood, and more alone. It’s like telling someone with a broken arm to just not have a broken arm anymore.

So, what can you do to help a friend with depression? Support them by letting them you know you have their back. Listen to them and validate their feelings. Suggest seeing a counselor or psychiatrist to get on meds. You can try to offer a different perspective, but don’t tell people that they can fix themselves.

Insecurities – Relationships

Before I learned to hold back and keep my mouth shut, the “Insecurities” scenario used to happen to me a lot. When I finished my degree in Philosophy, I thought I might want to continue on in Psychology. To go that route, I needed to complete a few required courses first. To take those, I could either go back to undergrad or stay in Belgium and study Couples Counseling/Sex Therapy. Kind of a no-brainer, right? Either way, when I moved back home and people asked me what I’d studied, all they ever seemed to hear was sex. Men tended to get insecure and defensive. Women tended to open up and tell me the most intimate details of their lives, despite my insistence that I wasn’t a professional and I didn’t want to hear it. So, after a while, I just left it at Philosophy. This was met with either a rolling of the eyes or some vague recollection about a course they’d once taken. Their loss. I think Philosophy is super sexy.

The Toxins – The Crohn’s Saga Part 19

Like a lot of people living with a chronic disease, I like to try out alternative therapies. As I mention in my page “About Crohn’s Disease“, I don’t think supplements or alternative treatments should ever replace medical treatments, but I do think they are good to explore. Every little bit helps, right? However, in the last few years, I’ve noticed a new concept emerge in this space – “the toxins”. And what exactly are these toxins? No one seems to know. I suspect that they are just a buzz-concept created to sell more. I try to have faith that most alternative therapies are well-meant and legitimate, but I also can’t ignore that it can be an extremely profitable industry. I’ve had tremendous success with some, but I’ve also wasted a lot of money on others that didn’t do anything. I still try treatments that are pretty out there, but if someone can’t explain how something is designed to help beyond invoking this ambiguous nonsense, I no longer participate and just walk away.

 

Yeah…No Part 3 – The Crohn’s Saga Part 20

Once again, this is a common scene with Crohn’s Disease. Planning around Crohn’s is quite difficult, since it so unpredictable. As I mention in my page “About Crohn’s Disease“, Crohn’s frequently causes both diarrhea and stomach pain. This means that the afflicted frequently need to bail on plans at the last minute. This can be frustrating and disappointing for everyone involved.

So, what’s the best way to deal with the unpredictability of Crohn’s Disease? In my experience, having Crohn’s or having someone in your life with Crohn’s necessitates constant patience, understanding, and forgiveness. As with most relationships, communication is critical. For my part, I’ve let most of the people in my life know that I have Crohn’s and whenever I’m having a flare, I let them know that I’m sick and I may not be reliable. For me, it’s easier to be forthcoming.

That said, I sometimes let pride get in the way. When I’m really sick and I’ve had to cancel plans too often, I sometimes make myself go out just so I can feel normal, even if I’m not up to it. In these cases, I usually leave my house, get to the social function, then need to bail immediately. What can I say? I’m human. I hate feeling like a sick person. At least my family and friends know that I’m trying. They understand that living with and planning around Crohn’s is tough.

European Vacation – Work

I had a difficult time transitioning from being a student in Belgium to being a low-level employee in the states. Travel and downtime with friends are big parts of my life, so the realization depicted here stung. I like what I do, but I feel like in the states, the expectation is to work all the time. Taking vacation always feels sort of selfish. I don’t idealize Europe over everything, but this is one example of where I think they do it better than us.