Month: July 2017

A Portrait of Domestic Life – Relationships

A lot of people grow up with a view of relationships that’s been skewed by Hollywood and Disney. I call it happily ever after syndrome. Basically, life with a partner is always supposed to be sweet, romantic, and sexy. That’s always seemed like a load of crap to me and wouldn’t you know it – I was right.

Here’s why that’s actually a good thing though. I offer that even though you see a lot of romance in the movies, you rarely see a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship can only exist between two individuals who know each other well, respect each other, and are comfortable around each other. Basically, a good relationship means you can be yourself and not have to play a role. You can just be you and the other can just be the other, and that’s ok. You accept each other.

Don’t get me wrong, romance is important, but being yourself and living your life comfortably in front of another person is important too. People eat, sleep, snore, burp, fart, clip their nails, clean their ears, floss, blow their nose, and 1,000 other unromantic things. I’m not saying you need to share everything (especially as a Crohnie, bathroom time is my time), but you should be comfortable enough that you don’t need to pretend or hide these things. I guess what I’m saying is that a good domestic life isn’t always sexy, but it should always feel authentic and true. Hollywood doesn’t show you that because it isn’t very eventful. It’s just nice.

Depressing Music – The Crohn’s Saga Part 59

Throughout my life, I’ve taken a lot of flack because I tend to love depressing music. Like a lot of Crohnies, I have depression, but my preferences go far beyond that. I’ve never been good at releasing emotions. In fact, to be honest, when I’ve added tears to any of my comics, it’s because those are the moments when I wish I’d been able to cry, not because I actually did cry. Instead of releasing difficult emotions, I tend to push everything down and then explode (or have a flare) every few years.

Music has always been one of the few outlets that gives me emotional release. When I can’t sleep and I stay up all night listening to music, it’s almost like my mind checks out and leaves my feelings to harmonize with whatever is playing. Sad music hurts, but man, it also helps me release otherwise constipated emotions. Music makes it ok for me to feel what I need to feel. And it’s just so good.

I could write books about how much music means to me. Even if I tried though, I could never do it justice. Instead, I’m going to take a risk, be more vulnerable than I prefer, and share some of my late night go to’s.

I present to you:

Hoot’s Insomniac Playlist for Feeling Feels
  • Hope There’s Someone – Antony and the Johnsons
  • Selective Memory – Eels
  • It’s a Motherfucker – Eels
  • Flower – Eels
  • Suzanne – Leonard Cohen
  • Famous Blue Raincoat – Leonard Cohen
  • Details of the War – Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah
  • Black Eyed Dog – Nick Drake
  • Miles From Nowhere – Cat Stevens
  • Trouble – Cat Stevens
  • Trouble – Elliott Smith (Cat Stevens Cover)
  • The Biggest Lie – Elliott Smith
  • No Surprises – Radiohead
  • Thirteen – Big Star
  • Your Ex-Lover Is Dead – Stars
  • Pale Blue Eyes – The Velvet Underground
  • Someday Never Comes – CCR
  • The Leftovers Piano Theme – Max Richter
  • Comptine d’un autre été – Yann Tiersen
  • Bron Yr Aur – Led Zeppelin

Leaky Wine Rack – All Sorts

Similar to what you saw in Wait, Do I Have A Problem?, sometimes the universe tosses indicators your way that make you realize you might have strayed outside of the bounds of normal behavior. My fiancé and I historically tend to enjoy a glass of wine or two with dinner. It never feels like a big deal until we notice that the wine rack is empty and we need to make a second liquor store run in the middle of the week. That starts to make us wonder if we drink too much.

My fiancé likes to entertain the notion that we should cut back. I don’t really see a problem with what we do though. A bottle a night may sound like a lot, but is it really? Two glasses a night to unwind after work doesn’t seem so dramatic. Everyone is allowed a vice or two and it isn’t like we’ve crossed into problem territory.

Oh, fine. That does sound like a cop out. We’ll start cutting back.

Schedule Update

Hello,

I’m announcing a new schedule for Hoot Deconstructed. I will now be posting to The Crohn’s Saga every M/W and other categories T/TH. There will be no posts on Fridays. I hate to do it, but I’ve been struggling juggling mending from surgery, getting back to work, and maintaining the quality of these posts. Enjoy your weekends everyone!

Thanks,

Hoot

Man’s Best Friend – The Crohn’s Saga Part 60

If you’re a regular here, you’ve seen quite a bit of my dog Hurley. In the bulk of these, you’ve probably seen her snoozing in the background. She sleeps a lot. In fact, I like to tease my fiancé that while our dog luckily got most of her personality, she also got my propensity to sleep 12-18 hours a day. My dog does sleep a lot, but when she isn’t sleeping, she’s an ideal canine friend.

I’ve heard it said that pets know when something is up with their owners. I have to admit that with my dog it’s been true. Hurley knew that I was sick. It upset her. She rarely left my side and she would get agitated when I was in pain or getting sick. She’s been around the entire length of this flare and my disability from work. Of all the pains of this disease, her frustration has been among the worst. She knows something wrong, but she also knows she can’t help. It kills me.